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論與中國(guó)人相處的方法
Sitting halfway around the world in the lobby of an upscale hotel sipping tea, I felt my face turning beet red.坐在一家高檔酒店的大廳里喝著茶，我感覺(jué)到自己滿臉通紅。
Only moments before, I had been formally introduced to the person facing me by a longtime colleague who then left so we could become acquainted. 幾分鐘之前，同事剛剛把對(duì)面這位女士介紹給我認(rèn)識(shí)，之后同事離開(kāi)了，只留下還不太相熟的我倆。
However, from this newcomer's initial line of questioning, instead of being courted I felt like I was being grilled.隨后，這位剛認(rèn)識(shí)不久的女士開(kāi)始問(wèn)了一連串的問(wèn)題，讓我覺(jué)得我像是在接受審問(wèn)。
My new Shanghainese contact -- looking very demure and innocent -- sat there cool and collected as she dove into a one-sided conversation, asking personal question after personal question: 眼前這位上海女士看起來(lái)非常端莊秀麗、單純無(wú)辜，她酷酷地坐在那里，問(wèn)著一個(gè)接一個(gè)的私人問(wèn)題，像是在進(jìn)行一場(chǎng)單方面的談話。
"How old are you?" “你多大了？”
"What kind of salary does your job pay?" “你的工作能拿多少工資？”
"What does your husband do for a living?" “你丈夫是做什么的？”
"Do you enjoy hanging out in bars?" “你喜歡泡吧么？”
She even went so far as to bring up the subject of my weight, wanting to know, "Is it because of your work that you are a large woman?"她甚至還問(wèn)到了關(guān)于我體重的問(wèn)題，“你這么胖是因?yàn)楣ぷ鞯脑騿幔俊?/p>
I mentally punched the woman in her thin stomach for that one. In real life, I rode out the inquisition with a fake smile pasted on my face while I delivered my answers as tersely as possible.聽(tīng)到這個(gè)問(wèn)題時(shí)，我在心里狠狠地揍了這位苗條的女士一拳。可表面上，我卻面帶微笑、泰然自若地、盡可能簡(jiǎn)潔地回答了這個(gè)問(wèn)題。
It's not as if I hold any of this information near and dear to my heart (I am pretty much an open book), but I remember thinking the question/answer session seemed a bit premature given that we had just met.這并不是說(shuō)我不愿告訴別人這些有關(guān)我個(gè)人的信息（實(shí)際上我是個(gè)相當(dāng)坦白的人），我只是覺(jué)得作為剛剛認(rèn)識(shí)的兩個(gè)人談?wù)撨@些私人問(wèn)題有些為時(shí)過(guò)早。
But then the queries subsided and the tables turned.談話的后半部分，我從回答問(wèn)題的人變成了提出問(wèn)題的人。
Not wanting to be so brazen, I started tentatively by asking if my inquisitive conversation partner was married with children.因?yàn)椴幌脒^(guò)于失禮，我只是嘗試問(wèn)了對(duì)方有關(guān)家庭、孩子方面的問(wèn)題。
She lit up, telling me all about her family and her job and her lack of time for after-work fun. She even told me she was too skinny because she was working so hard she hardly had time to eat.這位女士立刻興奮起來(lái)，滔滔不絕地跟我講起她的家庭、她的工作，以及她在工作之余如何沒(méi)有時(shí)間玩樂(lè)。她甚至還跟我說(shuō)她這么瘦是因?yàn)楣ぷ魈Χ鴰缀鯖](méi)有時(shí)間吃飯。
We ended the hour feeling close. Then, as I went about my day, I thought about that conversation. I realized that the way my new friend held court was simply the Chinese way for finding common ground.大概一個(gè)小時(shí)之后，我們結(jié)束了“親密的交談”。那天晚上我想到這段談話時(shí)，突然意識(shí)到我的這位新朋友拉近陌生人距離的這種方式在中國(guó)其實(shí)是很常見(jiàn)的。
That said, following are some other ways in which things are done in China that might be surprising to the uninitiated American business traveler:下面是其他一些讓外國(guó)人感到奇怪的、但中國(guó)人卻覺(jué)得很平常的事：
When standing up while conducting a one-on-one conversation, don't back away simply because your Chinese counterpart seems a little too close for your comfort.站著進(jìn)行面對(duì)面談話時(shí)，不要因?yàn)閷?duì)方（中國(guó)人）和你靠太近就往后退，這是不禮貌的。
If you are lining up to wait for, say, a train or a bus, don't be surprised if you are shoved or pushed -- and don't get into a confrontation because of this. 在火車站或汽車站排隊(duì)的時(shí)候，如果被人推到或擠到也不要大驚小怪，更不要因?yàn)檫@個(gè)和別人吵起來(lái)。
If you want to point to something, use an open hand instead of using your index finger. 如果你要指東西，要伸開(kāi)整個(gè)手去指，而不要用食指。
Be on time (or a little early) for a meeting. In China, punctuality is a must. 開(kāi)會(huì)或會(huì)面時(shí)要準(zhǔn)時(shí)或是早到，在中國(guó)守時(shí)是必須的。
Finally, keep your hands to yourself, even if you are just trying to make a simple gesture to accompany what you have to say. In China, use your words instead of acting them out or you might be considered overly dramatic. 最后，即使你只是想在說(shuō)話時(shí)做個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的手勢(shì)，也請(qǐng)不要這樣做。在中國(guó)，盡量用語(yǔ)言而不是手勢(shì)來(lái)表達(dá)自己，否則會(huì)被人覺(jué)得過(guò)于夸張。
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